You’ve got a hot date tonight — and it’s with a recent divorcee. Maybe you already know a little bit about the breakup, and whether your date’s emotions are still running high. Regardless, dating a divorcee isn’t always simple. Here are a few tips for a smooth first date.
Don’t Make It Weird
No divorcee wants to spend every first date explaining their past. Have a good time and let your chemistry — not their past — determine whether you might have a future together. On the first date, avoid bringing up the divorce and what caused it. You’re here to meet this person, not their ex; have a good time and learn about each other for tonight. If a relationship blossoms from your first date, there will be plenty of time to find out what happened. Tonight, it’s none of your business!
Remember not to treat your date like a piece of glass. While their emotions could still be fragile from the effects of a failed marriage and a nasty divorce, they want their new dating life to be as normal as possible. If necessary, let your date know they don’t need to feel nervous about their divorce affecting your relationship and assure them that you’ll give them plenty of time to explain everything — later. Then go out and have a good time.
Keep It Casual
A divorcee’s emotions may still be running high, so don’t toy with them. He or she may be either emotionally needy (divorce rebound?) or overly hesitant about getting back into a relationship, so avoid getting too snuggly. This could lead your date on or turn them off. Make the night more about having a good time and showing them what a fun person you are to be with. Consider bowling or doing anything that will help you both let loose and relax.
Don’t Waste Their Time
Even if diving into a serious relationship probably isn’t smart for a new divorcee, you need not wait to find out why your date’s ex was a dud. You can find this out without asking specifically about the ex-spouse, though; simply ask what they’re looking for — and definitely don’t want — in a partner.
Act Like a Grown-Up
Your date is likely out to have some much-needed fun, but they also don’t want to waste time on a dead-end relationship (they’ve been there, divorced that). Even if your date is just out to have a good laugh or two, don’t end the relationship prematurely by clowning around all night. While steering clear of too-serious conversation is good for now, the date need not consist of you telling every joke you know. Show them that there’s more to you; be polite and show appreciation for your date by complimenting them — they likely haven’t seen much courtesy in a while.
