Two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women but what about the other thirty percent of divorces? What makes men leave? Avvo attorney Kelly Chang Rickert gives us 5 of the most common reasons.
1. Unsatisfied with Spouse
A controlling wife is often to blame for husband’s walking out — especially if that controlling comes in the form of nagging, yelling, and withholding sex. Men need love, not another mother to make them clean up their socks and ditch their guys nights for chick flicks. Quick tip? Let him help with the home decor, and give him regular time to enjoy his own interests.
2. Unsatisfied with Life
Welcome to the good old mid-life crisis: usually beginning around age 40, men might begin to feel an unhappiness with a life and the lifestyle that may have provided them with happiness for many years. This might include boredom with people and things they once found interesting. Feeling a need for adventure and change, and questioning their past choices, men might begin to feel anger and resentment at their wife and blame her for his feeling tied down. Unable to make decisions about where they want to go with their life, men often develop a desire for a new and passionate, intimate relationship.
Often such a crisis obviously leads to having affairs and/or a sudden desire for a career change. The latter case can often lead to tension if the wife doesn’t support the career change, or frustration when resulting financial changes (and the new job itself) aren’t rewarding.
3. Unsatisfied with Marriage
This one may seem redundant, but all too often a simple lack of nurturing a marriage can result in dissatisfaction. The kids, career, extended family and/or other obligations take up too much time, leaving both partners exhausted and without the time to care for their own relationship. If you find one or both of you is over-taxed, call it to attention and see if you can make small changes in schedules and commitments to make just a little extra time dedicated to each other.
4. Wife is Unfaithful
Whether it’s for a self-esteem boost, for revenge, or to quench an unfulfilled need for intimacy, women do cheat. Men can help prevent such infidelity by showing affection (which often means doing the dishes and listening to what’s on her mind), giving her a kiss on the cheek every morning, sending a friendly “How’s your day, Honey?” message every day, or whatever suits her fancy — and it can’t hurt to ask what might make her happy!
5. Husband is Unfaithful
You’re not getting any. You want to know you’ve “still got it.” You couldn’t say “no.” Your wife let herself go. Maybe you just don’t love your wife anymore. Whatever the rationalization, you may find yourself tempted by — or deep in — a tangled web of sneaking around, lies, and a secret life that may or may not soon set your entire family-in-law on your tail with firearms. If you are contemplating infidelity — or have already messed up — consider counseling, Rickert advises. Go as a couple and as individuals, since marital problems usually stem from individual personal problems.
If any of the above are ringing a bell, don’t fear. Should you be embarking on the journey of divorce, Avvo’s lawyers are here to help with legal guides, answers to your questions, and articles specifically for divorce. Avvo also offers vital guidance during every stage of the process in the Avvo Divorce Survival Guide Series.
When you know the basics about divorce law, you can make better decisions — and potentially save yourself (and your family) time, money, and emotional stress. Written in simple, concise language by divorce law experts, this 3-part survival guide series is for women or men who are considering divorce, currently going through a divorce, or working to move on positively after a divorce. Check out the first part of the series here.